Moms Talk: Talking To Kids About Jaycee Dugard

It’s the stuff of nightmares.

Jaycee Dugard was eleven years old when she was kidnapped from her school bus stop in California and taken to a backyard tent and tarpaulin compound where she would live for the next eighteen years. She was raped repeatedly by the sex offender who snatched her, and she gave birth to two children during her captivity.

I don’t want to imagine the agony Terri Probyn, Jaycee’s mother, lived through for those eighteen years. My heart breaks not only for Jaycee, but for her mother.

Thankfully, Jaycee was rescued and reconnected with her family in August of 2009. Her kidnappers, Phillip and Nancy Garrido, plead guilty to kidnapping and rape, and they are serving sentences that will most likely keep them behind bars for the rest of their lives.

Jaycee’s first television interview aired this past Sunday night, and her memoir, “A Stolen Life,” was released on Tuesday. Jaycee Dugard is back in the news, and kids are asking questions about her story. How do you answer them?

I have an inquisitive older child who has recently become a national newshound and loves to discuss media stories and interviews with me. If you have a question about the Casey Anthony trial proceedings, I have a twelve-year-old who can help you.

My daughter is away at summer camp – and removed from televisions and internet – right now, but I expect when she gets home and starts catching up on this week’s news, she’ll have some questions about Jaycee Dugard and the nightmarish ordeal she lived through.

I’m not great off-the-cuff. I like to be prepared, so I’ve already put some thought into the best way to discuss a scary, real life story like Jaycee’s. I think it’s important to be clear, honest and informative, without transferring my own anxiety about Jaycee’s experience onto my daughter.

If I’m being honest with you, that’s much easier for me to type than it is for me to carry out. I’m a fretter, and I’ve probably erred on the side of scaring the daylights out of my kids more than once when it comes to discussing potential dangers with them.

Kim Richardson, a psychotherapist who writes the blog The Mommy Blues, stresses this point: It’s important to remember that making children more anxious makes them think less clearly. They’re far less likely to take away any life lessons from your discussion if all they recall is being terrified.

Richardson goes on to say that it’s more productive to focus on what you and your child can do to increase their safety. Help kids learn to protect themselves. Talk about what to do if they’re approached by strangers. One great website I found to address this topic is mychildsafety.net.

As mothers, we do the best we can to protect our kids, but the danger still exists. It’s a no-brainer that we need to educate our kids about the risk of being kidnapped, and the Jaycee Dugard story might provide the opportunity to open up those lines of communication with our older kids.

How do you talk to your children about stranger danger? What are your opinions about Jaycee Dugard and her story?